For decades, generation gaps have been pointed out by parents and children, studied by academics, and jokes about by comedians. The humor is best understood retrospectively by generations older than the ones being spotlighted. George Carlin built his entire career on comical observations about how people of different ages communicate.

My daughter, age 29, was born in the first year of Gen Z – 1997 to 2012.  The youngest of her cohort is 14.  I am a Baby Boomer. As I encounter Gen Zers in customer service roles, especially retail, it’s increasingly obvious how different our communication styles are.

Whether because of social anxiety created during Covid or because of the conveniences of texting, ordering with touch screens, or using Google to ask for directions, Gen Zers often don’t engage. The Washington Post wrote a feature on the “Gen Z Stare” — the blank look at a moment when a response would normally be expected.

Examples include everyday greetings, ordering food, picking up an item in a store, and countless other tiny interactions that once were the staple of social connection.

When we encounter the “I don’t give a damn” stare, we first register shock and then we label it rudeness. More realistically, it’s a cultural divide.

Our generation is used to formal, professional, structure and grammatically correct communication.  Gen Zers prefer casual, instant, unstructured and non-obligatory interactions.  We meet in person; they connect over Slack. We pick up the phone or email; they text.

Talking Less and Isolating More

What’s the outcome of differing communication styles between generations?

In the Washington Post article “‘Gen Z Stare’ – and the decline of saying things out loud”, journalist Ariana Eunjung Cha describes this scene:

“A millennial walks into a coffee shop and tries to order something…the cashier responds with a gawp, says as little as possible, and points to a sign.”

The impact of these moments: “We are quite literally, talking less.”

In a recent report in Perspectives on Psychological Science,  the research revealed that Americans are speaking roughly 300 fewer words a day, or about two to three minutes worth each year. That may not sound like much, but it’s a 28% decline from 2005 to 2019. And the drop is especially pronounced among people younger than 25.

We substitute technology instead of personal contact to complete transactions, guide us from point A to point B, work remotely, and serve as our customer relations representatives. It’s progress until it isn’t!

We can now conduct more of our daily life without opening our mouths. What was once innovation now becomes routine. The evolution of impersonal interactions is being baked into our culture.

As a result, we feel more disconnected, more isolated, and less heard.

Valeria Pfeifer, the study’s leading author and an assistant professor of psychology and counseling at the University of Missouri, Kansas City, describes the dilemma:

“For most of human history, speaking was not merely one way to communicate. It was the default…Buying something, finding your way around, meeting a stranger, working alongside someone or maintaining a friendship generally required oral conversation. Now speech is becoming, in many corners of life, optional.”

Don’t Just Stand There, Say Something!

We know that speaking is a form of cognitive stimulation. Conversely, not speaking could create a risk of worsening mental health. So, what can we and should we do to combat the trend towards reliance on technology and away from connection?

• Substitute conversation for touch screens.

When you have the opportunity, opt for human interaction. Choose the full-service line instead of self-checkout. Find a phone number to speak with a human representative. Be creative in identifying moments when you can bypass the technology which keeps you silent.

• Use your brain to think for yourself. Don’t phone it into ChatGPT. Ask an expert.

We recognize the impact of AI and how it is profoundly changing our world and our work. And yet, you don’t have to always rely on an artificial intelligence search engine. Do what you can to keep your mind active. Engage in conversation with others you value. Ask a friend their opinion instead of searching on Yelp.

• Put 300 words back into your day.

Accept the challenge and speak more. Adding 300 more words a day could be a casual conversation with a stranger, a phone call to a friend, a brief visit with a neighbor, or a question to a family member or loved one. None of this is life changing. But all of it taken together will improve the quality of connections.

Please share with me your thoughts on the impact of speaking less and what you are doing to combat the trend. Write to me at Ann@AnnLouden.com. Bottom of Form