The Secrets to Lasting Love
You are all meant for love. In this episode of Last First Date Radio, Veronica Grant shares how she discovered the secrets to lasting love.
Veronica Grant is a Love and Life Coach, author of You Are Meant For Love, and host of the Love Life Connection podcast. She helps successful women who have it all except love, find it. She’s been featured in O the Oprah Magazine, Bustle, Your Tango, Cosmopolitan Magazine, and many podcasts. As someone who struggled in love and was tired of unsolicited and patronizing advice, she created the resources she wished she had before meeting her husband.
In this episode of Last First Date Radio:
- How Veronica found love
- How to know you’re meant for love
- What sabotages singles from finding true love
- Why the law of attraction can be harmful
- Why it’s important to heal your inner child
Tell us your story about how you found love.
My love story was tied to how I felt about my body and self worth. My family always focused on being thin. I would get criticized when I gained weight and criticized when I lost weight.
What I discovered through therapy and coaching was my worth in love was tied to how people felt about me. I couldn’t source my worthiness from within, but from the outside. I lacked a deeper relationship with myself. I wasn’t emotionally available to myself. So, I had trouble connecting with others.
I attracted men who were everything I wanted. But, I wasn’t attracted to them. It wasn’t comfortable to be loved for who I was.
I was working on the Obama campaign and had no time to diet, and I was exhausted. After the campaign ended, I was still tired and didn’t have the energy to diet. I saw a friend who was vegan post to Instagram, and I loved how she spoke about food. I became a vegan and food became fun for me. I felt great. It was the first time food was energizing and nourishing.
Through my new relationship with food, I began to heal my relationship with love. It was about enjoying life, not getting my value from external sources. A few months later, I met my husband.
You say in the book that the law of attraction can be harmful to those seeking love. Please explain.
The main problem with the law of attraction is that the people who teach it say it’s as true as the law of gravity. What that does is you start to wonder why the law of attraction is true for everyone but you. Which leads to self doubt and shame.
It also ostracizes the human emotions of grief and anger. You have to experience the full range of emotions. We learn through contrast – we know happiness because we’ve felt sadness.
You are a strong believer in healing your inner child on your journey to lasting love. Can you tell our audience what that is?
Inner child healing is healing the stories and beliefs that came about from difficult experiences as a child. We can’t change what happened, but we can change how we experience it as an adult.
If you grew up walking on eggshells in your family, you did what you could to survive. As an adult, you might be a people pleaser, afraid of confrontation. You might prioritize everyone’s needs but your own. That can lead to toxic relationships, because your needs are not getting met.
To heal, you repair by telling your inner child what she needed to hear as a child. Apply it to your life by asking yourself if it’s your adult self or inner child self that’s calling the shots. Then, access your adult self to make better choices. It helps you figure out if this is an issue that you need to work on by yourself or an issue in the relationship.
What are your final words of advice for anyone who wants to go on their last first date?
Do whatever you want. What I mean is don’t listen to all the dating advice out there that are arbitrary rules that may not apply to you. Everything you do in dating and relationships will give you information you can apply to your love life so much sooner than by trying to decipher what something means.
Watch this episode on YouTube
Discover if you’re available for the relationship you want by taking Veronica’s Emotional Availability Assessment: https://veronicagrant.com/assessment
Get Veronica’s book, You Are Meant for Love here.
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If you’re feeling stuck in dating or relationships and would like to find your last first date, sign up for a complimentary 1/2 hour breakthrough session with Sandy https://lastfirstdate.com/application