The Challenges of Dating With Children
by Sandy Weiner , founder Last First Date
Dating with children can be tricky. That’s why I believe it’s helpful to spend some time deciding what works for you and your children. In this video, I speak about when to date again, when and how to talk to your kids, when to have sex and more. Check out today’s video, and please post your comments below.
Dating With Children
When to date again?
I don’t believe in dating ‘rules’, so when it comes to dating as a single mom, you need to figure out what’s right for you. Start with what’s motivating you. Ask yourself, “Why do I want to date?” If it’s because you’re stressed and need a break from the kids, that’s not a good reason to date. It’s a reason to seek support; from your friends or family or a good therapist or dating coach. Find ways to destress so you’re not seeking a new partner to fill those needs. That’s not fair to him or you.
If you’re looking to date because you miss having a partner to share experiences and add value to your life, it’s time for you to date. Don’t wait too long. Don’t wait until the kids are grown. Do it before fears set in, and it becomes harder to date again.
Make an agreement with your kids.
Figure out your dating policy with your kids. Then, sit them down and tell them you’re ready to date again and what that means to them. For example, let them know you won’t introduce them until it’s serious. If their father is in the picture, you won’t be replacing their father if/when you’re serious about a new partner.
My suggestion: don’t talk about your dates with your kids. Don’t have sex with men you’re not serious about with the kids in the house if you have shared custody. Think about the message you want to send them about sex.
Do let men know if you have kids in the house, that they are a package deal if you’re in a serious relationship. See if he’s okay with that. Because that could be a real deal breaker, and it’s better to know sooner rather than later.
When/how to introduce a new partner to the kids.
Do it in a neutral public place, like a park or restaurant. Let your kids ask questions. Help them with their emotions.
What to do if a man doesn’t introduce his kids to you?
Discuss it with him. Tell him what’s important to you and why. See what happens. This could be a deal breaker if he’s non-compliant.
Watch the video
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Sandy Weiner guides women to show up authentically, stand up and lead with grace, and speak up with confidence. The founder of LastFirstDate.com and TheWomanofValue.com, she’s an internationally known TEDx speaker, women’s empowerment coach, dating and relationship coach, author, podcast host, and retreat leader. Sandy specializes in helping women achieve great things by overcoming fears, finding their authentic voice, and being valued for their full potential. She believes a woman of value is respected and rewarded for her contribution in life, work, and love