Life is always talking, make sure you’re listening- LOIS-ism

Recently, life taught me a valuable lesson: Bless Your Yes, Know Your No, especially when it comes to collaboration. In a short period, I was invited to a collaboration that “looked great,” initially, but ultimately was not a fit, and just a few weeks later, another one that we knocked right out of the park. I really learned the power when you Bless Your Yes, and Know Your NO!

If this has struck more than a chord, read on, so you don’t make the mistake I made, but luckily, and kindly bowed out of.

In today’s fast-paced and hyper-connected world, collaboration can be a powerful force for change. When done well, it creates synergy, sparks innovation, and leads to outcomes far greater than any one person could achieve alone. But let’s not sugarcoat it—collaboration also comes with challenges. And one of the biggest? Knowing when to say yes… and when to say no.

As a female motivational speaker and Executive leadership coach working with high-achieving professionals, I’ve seen this time and time again. Especially among heart-centered, mission-driven leaders, the desire to be of service can sometimes override their internal guidance. They say yes too quickly—without checking in with themselves—and later find they’ve compromised their energy, their clarity, or their values.

That’s why I say: Bless Your Yes, and Know Your No.

Your Yes is not just a polite agreement. It’s an energetic contract. It deserves your full body alignment and wholehearted presence. When you say yes from a place of self-trust, values, and purpose, you open the door to meaningful co-creation.

But here’s the secret: your No is just as powerful.

Saying no is not selfish. It’s not negative. It’s not a rejection. It’s a redirection—toward what actually serves you, your mission, and the people you’re here to impact.

So how do we know when to say Yes and when to say No—especially when it comes to collaboration?

We start with what I call the ABCs of Creating Powerful Collaborations.

A – Ask the Questions That Matter

Before jumping into any partnership, project, or joint venture, slow down and get curious. What do you need to know to make a truly informed decision?

What’s the intention behind this collaboration?
What’s the desired outcome—for both of you?
What’s the time commitment?
What’s not being said?

Too often, people rush into “Yes” without clarity, only to discover misaligned goals or fuzzy expectations later on. Clarity is not just helpful—it’s kind. It sets the tone for trust and transparency right from the start.

B – Be Specific About Expectations

This is a big one.

In the early stages of collaboration, overcommunication is your best friend. Don’t just talk about the end goal—get granular about how you’ll work together.

What are your communication styles?
Who’s responsible for what?
What are your preferred timelines and accountability structures?

When both parties are clear about expectations—and those expectations are voiced explicitly—you prevent misunderstandings down the line. Be specific, be honest, and invite the same in return.

Remember: being direct doesn’t make you demanding. It makes you deliberate.

C – Curiosity Leads the Way

Let’s be real—hiccups happen. Delays, miscommunications, and misalignments are a natural part of any collaboration.

The key is how you respond to them.

Instead of going into blame or criticism (especially toward yourself), get curious. Ask questions like:

What might be going on for them?
Where did the wires get crossed?
How can we move forward from here in a way that feels aligned?

Curiosity keeps the dialogue open. It invites solutions instead of standoffs. And it allows both people to grow through the process, not just grit through it.

Listen to Your Body: The Ultimate Barometer

Above all else, tune into your body’s wisdom. That gut feeling you sometimes ignore? It’s often your most honest collaborator.

When you think about saying Yes to something, notice your physical response.

Do you feel expanded, excited—even if there’s a little fear mixed in? That could be a sign of growth, stretching, and alignment.

Or do you feel tight, heavy, or filled with dread? That’s your body asking you to pause, reconsider, or say no.

And here’s a tip: Don’t go it alone.
Run your thoughts by a trusted colleague, friend, or coach. Often, just voicing your hesitation or enthusiasm out loud gives you clarity.

Get Out of Your Own Way

If you struggle with discernment in collaboration, you’re not alone. Many of the heart-centered leaders I work with as an Executive leadership coach find it hard to navigate their own “people-pleaser” patterns, perfectionism, or self-doubt. They want to serve, contribute, and co-create—but end up feeling drained or unappreciated.

The real work is learning to get out of your own way—to trust your instincts, own your worth, and make choices from a place of clarity rather than fear.

When you learn to Bless Your Yes and Know Your No, you step into a new level of leadership. You model boundaries. You cultivate trust. And you become magnetic to the right collaborations—the ones that light you up and serve your mission.

Final Thoughts

Collaboration isn’t just about working with others. It’s about co-creating in a way that honors your values, protects your energy, and amplifies your impact.

So before you say Yes again, pause.

Check in.
Ask questions.
Get specific.
Stay curious.
And above all—trust yourself.

Because when your Yes is blessed and your No is clear, you become unstoppable.

Looking to deepen your leadership clarity and cultivate meaningful collaborations? Let’s connect.
I support mission-driven heart-centered leaders and organizations to lead with greater confidence, courage, and clarity. [Book a discovery call here →]