Weed Wackers, Wildflowers, and the Stories That Shape Us

This is one of my favorite “Lois-isms.”

This past weekend, my teacher wasn’t a person—it was my weed wacker. Yes, the dusty, underused, somewhat neglected tool sitting in our shed.

As someone who juggles the cosmopolitan energy of New York City with a rustic, countryside lifestyle, lawn care is a regular conversation in our household. We’re always pulling weeds, firing up the zero-turn mower, chopping dead branches, and weed whacking. While neither my partner nor I are experts, we do our best.

But truthfully? I’ve long avoided the weed wacker. Recently, I started to ask myself: Why? Why haven’t I tried it after all these years?

And suddenly, I saw the stories I’d been telling myself:
“It’s too heavy.”
“It’s too noisy.”
“My arm will get tired.”
“It might scare me.”
“I could hurt myself.”

As an executive leadership coach, I help my clients challenge these exact kinds of assumptions every day. Yet there I was, tripping over my own mental weeds—plus an 80-foot fluorescent orange extension cord.

Then came Mother’s Day. While I don’t have children (that I know of), I consider nurturing others a core part of who I am. That morning, I looked at my sweetheart Marty and said:

“Guess what? I’m going to try the weed wacker today.”

He nearly fell over.

“You sure? Every time you’ve brought it up, you had a dozen reasons why you couldn’t.”

“Nope, I’m ready to try.”

But I needed a few things from him first:

1. Set it up for me.
2. Show me how to use it for a few minutes so I can observe.
3. Watch me try it.
4. Walk me through what could go wrong, and how to handle it.

Ten minutes later, I was weed whacking like a champ—attacking long grass and everything in between. I adjusted my ergonomics as I went. When my arm got tired, I turned it into a lunge workout (which I usually avoid!). I engaged my core, strengthened my quads. It became a whole classroom of self-awareness and problem solving.

Bonus: Not only did both Marty and I beam, but our purple wildflowers that were hidden amidst the weeds got to step into center stage, and do their happy dance!

What I realized was this:

When you’re stuck in the story of why you can’t do something, there’s no room for solutions.

And yes, I needed help. Just like my clients do when navigating uncertainty. They share their fears and assumptions, and I help them challenge them. Because without that, we all stay stuck—with more weeds in our minds than in our gardens.

Five Ways to Weed Out Negative Stories

If you’re feeling bogged down by limiting beliefs, here’s a simple framework to try:

1. Name It to Claim It
   Acknowledge your assumption. Shift from saying, “This is how it is”to “Up until now, I believed…”That language shift makes room for new thinking.
2. Ask for Help
   Our culture glorifies going it alone—but great leaders build strong support systems.
3. Ask for Modeling
   Watching someone else do something (even briefly) helps demystify the process. Ask questions. Learn from their experience.
4. Have Them Shadow You
   Have someone watch and support you. Whether it’s writing a press release or riding a bike—let them walk the journey with you.
5. Celebrate and Adjust
   Notice what went well, tweak what didn’t, and give yourself a fist bump. Progress is power.

So let me ask you:

• What do you relate to in this story?
• What small but mighty action can you take to clear the weeds and plant seeds for your garden of greatness?

Thanks for tuning in—and not tuning out.