There is a powerful force within you that can give you everything you want in life: fulfillment, money, power, success. This is a force you deal with every day but don’t recognize its life-giving potential.
You are probably wondering what that mysterious force is.
Is it your mind? Is it the power of visualization? Is it positive thinking?
Surprise! That powerful force is your feelings and emotions.
You have a whole part of your brain devoted to creating and governing emotions. If that part of your brain doesn’t work for you, it will definitely work against you.
But if you master this that force, you will be able to create healthy relationships, resolve inner and outer conflicts, achieve unparalleled success and have a fulfilling life.
The dilemma is: how do you master that force?
I bet that most of the advice you have received about mastering your emotions has to do with rejecting the negative ones and cultivating the positive ones.
Has that brought you the results that you want?
Is the general population better off now, happy, fulfilled, and stress-free?
On the contrary.
These days, there is a lot of talk about the mental health crisis. Obviously, the solutions that have been offered are not working.
The purpose of this article, and the series that will follow, is to give you the understanding what emotions are and the tools to master their powerful force within you.
We’ll start with the obvious but overlooked factor.
Have you noticed?
Everything is about feelings!
What do people love to read (notice the word “love”)? They don’t like to read manuals and instructions. But they love to read novels. Especially romances, adventures, mysteries. The things that quicken your heart and make you turn pages with excitement and anticipation.
That doesn’t apply to books about mathematics, physics, accounting, time management, goal setting, financial planning, etc. They are not that exciting.
What are the exciting books about? Relationships.
And what are relationships about? Emotional connection. So even if a novel is about an accountant or mathematician, it’s about how they feel about what they do, their life and their relationships.
There are millions of songs out there. What are they about? Mostly about love. I loved him, and he left me. He loved me, but I left him. He or she cheated on me. Or else, I feel good because he or she loves me.
If songs are not about love, they are about anger: I don’t like this reality. Or about sadness: blues.
If an individual kills someone, that’s usually because they feel angry, vindictive, betrayed. FEELINGS. If an individual robs someone that’s because they feel they don’t have what they want, and the others have it. The person feels jealous, demanding. FEELINGS.
Even when a country starts a war with another country, it’s also because the people of this country FEEL they need to punish the other country, or they FEEL the other country has something they want, or because they FEEL hatred for the other people.
The external circumstances can be very complicated and different in each case, but they all boil down to how people FEEL, individually or in groups.
Wait a minute, you say, people or countries make rational decisions, after analyzing all facts and the information that is available.
These decisions may look like they were rational. The reality is different. That’s the first thing you learn in a sales training: people make decisions emotionally, and use their reason to justify them.
You have a part of your brain that governs logic and reason. That part of your brain gathers the facts. Then, your Emotional Brain interprets the facts, based on how you FEEL about the facts. That’s why two people can look at exactly the same set of facts and come to exactly opposite conclusions or decisions.
Are you starting to see that emotions are a powerful force?
But where do they come from?
In brief, they come from your Emotional Brain.
Do you know that you have a whole separate part of the brain devoted to emotions?
The brain that takes care of that is called the limbic system and it’s a part of the Triune Brain model developed by Dr. Paul Mc Lean.
Mother Nature decreed you will not be able to get rid of emotions, even the so-called negative ones. Did you notice that you can throw out some unwanted emotions or feelings, only to have them somehow sneak back in?
In the coming articles, I will explain why that is and what to do about it.
For now, I encourage you to really pay attention to how your feelings, moment by moment.
Imagine: you get up in the morning, feeling refreshed, energetic. You are excited about what you planned in your day. Then, you realize that last night you forgot to send that important email. You immediately feel embarrassed. You call a friend, and she reassures you that it wasn’t so important. You feel relieved. But when you get to your office, you can see that your project will not be delivered on time, and you feel resentful toward the colleague who was responsible for delivering a report.
And so on. I can guarantee that you will learn a lot about yourself and your fluid, always changing emotions.