Why You Need a Dating “Walk-Up Song”

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What’s A “Walk Up” Song Anyway?

Simply put, a walk-up song is music to announce your entrance. The origin of walk-up songs began more than 50 years ago when Yankees reliever pitcher took the mound to “Pomp and Circumstance”. Twenty years later, it was standard practice for players to request their own music when it was their turn at bat.

The idea of selecting identifying music for sports figures and celebrities has expanded to a much larger slice of the population. There are now walk-up songs for many professions and all ages. Teachers, student athletes and ordinary folks choose their walk-up songs. It’s less about actually walking to the music and all about creating confidence and showcasing your unique personality.

So what’s that got to do with dating?


If you think about what it feels like to put yourself out into the dating world – whether for the first time or later in life – it’s scary! There are multiple unknowns:

  • Will you enjoy the experience?
  • What will you talk about?
  • What will you wear?
  • Will there be chemistry?
  • Will your date be a person you want to see again?

Although you won’t be able to control how the interaction will unfold at the outset of the date, there is one thing you have total control over: your attitude.

Think of it this way – if you convey confidence, excitement, and curiosity, you are much more likely to have a good time AND a robust dating experience. If, on the other hand, you project anxiety, timidity, or entitlement, you are sabotaging not only the opportunity to get each date  on the best footing, you also are only half engaged.


When I re-entered the dating world after twenty-five years of marriage, I made it my practice not to take the past with me. Every date I go on is for me a new adventure. I look at each one as an opportunity to expand my horizons, to make a new friend, to build community.

And that means I have responsibilities. I need not just show up. I also am obligated to be pleasant, polite, and fully present. That means I commit to listening well, asking great questions, and being appreciative.

And how do I psych myself up to go out on a date?

I have a walk-up song!

Frank Sinatra is my inspiration. The song is “Come Fly With Me”, with melody and lyrics that are imaginative, romantic, and just plain fun.


By now, you’ve guessed that my walk-up song plays only in my head. But it’s the auditory courage I need to show up with a smile on my face for each and every date.

Here’s how you choose a walk-up song:

  1. Think of a tune that gives you goose bumps. You know what I mean. There are songs that cause your heart to skip a beat. You may associate the song with great memories or a special time in your life.
  2. Know at least a line or two of the lyrics by heart. For it to be your song, you have to be able to sing at least a little to yourself. You want to be able to hum the song when you are getting ready, waiting to meet your date, or biting your lip if things go south.
  3. Imagine yourself walking into a favorite place to the song being played. Think of the energy you get and the confidence it gives you to hear that refrain in your head. I never fail to be energized when ‘Ol Blue Eyes is supplying the inspiration.

I’d love to know what your walk-up song is and why you chose it. Please share it with me at kate@katesomerset.com. Here’s to music, and how it empowers us!


  • Kate Somerset

    Kate Somerset is an author pen name for the book “Mom…You Just Need to Get Laid: The Adventures of Dating After Divorce”. Following a divorce after 24 years of marriage, and thirty years of being deeply rooted in professional and volunteer roles in Texas, Kate took a chance on a new life in New York City. She immediately fell in love with Manhattan and the many opportunities it offers. Kate’s book about 15 true dating experiences in New York City is an honest, humorous, and inspirational look on how to give yourself and romance a second chance. One of the most universal struggles faced by all of us – building effective social connections – is the focus of Kate’s monthly column for The Three Tomatoes. Published by Brooklyn Writer’s Press, the book and Ebook are available on Amazon. An audiobook produced by The Three Tomatoes is on Amazon and Audible. Learn more about Kate at www.KateSomerset.com.

1 Response

  1. Your “walk up song” is a brilliant idea. Although I am happily married, I think a “walk up song” could be useful in dealing with numerous situations.
    Thanks so much.

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