Let’s be honest—this is not the topic most of us bring up over lunch.

We will talk about careers, relationships, travel, wellness, aging parents, even our own aging… but end-of-life planning? That’s the one we gently sidestep. Another time, we tell ourselves.

But here’s the truth: there is no perfect time. And that’s actually the point.

After 24 years of working in this space, I can tell you this with complete clarity: having a plan in place is one of the greatest gifts you can give the people you love.

And surprisingly, it’s also a gift you give yourself.

It’s Not What You Think

End-of-life planning sounds heavy. Final. A little intimidating.

But in reality, it’s not about death—it’s about you.

It’s about making sure your voice is heard, your values are honored, and your story is told the way you would want it to be. It’s about deciding what matters most—whether that’s tradition, simplicity, music, ritual, or something entirely your own.

Women, especially those of us who are used to leading and caring for others, are very good at making sure everything and everyone is taken care of.

This is simply an extension of that instinct.

What I’ve Seen (Again and Again)

Over the years, I’ve had the privilege of guiding thousands of individuals and families through some of life’s most tender moments.

And I can tell you that when there’s a plan, everything shifts.

Families are still grieving, of course. But they’re not scrambling. They’re not second-guessing. They’re not wondering, “Is this what she would have wanted?”

Instead, they’re able to be present with one another. To remember. To honor. To hold this moment as sacred.

When there’s no plan, even the closest families can feel overwhelmed by decisions they never expected to have to make.

Planning ahead doesn’t take away the sadness; it simply removes the stress.

A Different Kind of Leadership

If you’re reading this, chances are you are someone others rely on.

You’ve built a life, a career, a family, a community. You’ve made thoughtful decisions every step of the way.

This is just one more thoughtful decision.

There’s something deeply powerful about saying:
I’ve taken care of this. You don’t have to worry.

It’s quiet. It’s compassionate. And it matters more than you might imagine.

A Personal Note

Even after all these years, I still feel honored every time someone trusts me with these conversations.

There is something incredibly human and beautiful about sitting with people as they reflect on what matters most.

This work has changed me. It has made me more intentional, more present, and more aware that these conversations, while not always easy, are always meaningful.

And often, they bring an unexpected sense of peace.

So… Where Do You Start?

Start small.

You don’t need a binder full of documents or all the answers.

Just begin the conversation.

Talk to a partner, a close friend, your children. Write down a few thoughts. Consider what feels important to you.

That’s it.

Editor’s Note:  Another great resource is this wonderful guide written by Honey Berg. PS…Honey will be on a panel at our upcoming Renewal Summit. 

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