Summer, for me, is a good time for doing a bit of mental decluttering. I’ve finished changing over my wardrobe, donating and discarding and cleaning. I’m ready for some quiet, peaceful time in a park or on the beach as I devote some time to mental decluttering. What stories have I been holding? What scripts are ready to be rewritten?

I discovered a book called StoryJacking: Change Your Inner Dialogue Transform Your Life by Lyssa Danehy deHart. Two quotes immediately caught my attention:

Who are we but the stories we tell ourselves about ourselves and believe. ~Scott Turow

The human mind is a story processor, not a logic processor. ~Jonathan Haidt.

The concepts are not unfamiliar to most of us. Many books, many programs, advocate visualizing, vision boards, and other methods of creating an image of a desired future and as part of making it real. What I had never thought about, though, is the number of negative stories we may also hold. The brain believes the stories it’s told. It doesn’t automatically discriminate.

Our brain, however, is constantly changing. Dr. Paul Bach-y-Rita did extensive research on how we can rewire our brains. It is this neuroplasticity that allows us to revise the stories that no longer serve us.

deHart discusses the roots of our stories. Many of them were created when we were children. The problem is, though, that as children we make up stories to explain things. These stories come from our interpretation of what other people have said, yet our brains are not fully developed, so our interpretations may not be accurate.  A child who is constantly told that children should be seen and not heard or hushed may construct the story that what she has to say is not important and carry that throughout her life, never speaking up or voicing an opinion. My grandmother’s parents believed that children should not be praised, so she was never told that she was smart or pretty. My grandmother’s internalized the story was that she was unattractive and had nothing to offer. She made an unfortunate marriage to the first man who told her that she was beautiful.

Our brains are not fully developed until we are in our early twenties. Any parent of an adolescent can speak to the frustration of trying to reason with someone who is only capable of seeking things as either black or white. It is in adulthood that we can begin to more closely examine our stories and revise them as needed.

I have a few stories of my own lined up for reevaluation as I sit in my favorite spot in the park, communing with the turtles. If you have a few of your own to tuck away with your beach reads, here are a few first steps suggested by deHart:

• Develop awareness -Identify stories or themes that you’d like to challenge.
• Get curious about your relationship to these stories – Identify what triggers this story.
• Create a new vision of what you want your story to be. Be as complete and precise as you can.

We’ll continue this next month and discuss how to hold your new vision. I’ll leave you with one final quote:

You must give everything to make your life as beautiful as the dreams that dance in your imagination. ~ Roman Payne