Sonnets from Suburbia

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Lady Penelope and I agree on so many things it’s hard to know where to begin.  This week Lady Penelope bemoans bad waitresses and their habits in “Waitress Woes”.

Waitress Woes

“Is everything delicious?” she inquired.

I’d barely had a chance to take a bite,

My personal review was not required,

I chewed apace to say ‘t was not alright.

My pork chop was as grey as it was tough

And she had looked away before I could

Decide to spit or swallow, say, “This stuff

“is ‘bout as tasty as a piece of wood!”

She’d even said, “Oh perfect!” as she turned

Her vacant smile onto another table

While I began to choke my need she spurned.

I could not cry for help, I was unable.

I prayed the bistro saw fit to remove her,

But more concerned she knew Heimlich’s maneuver!


  • Lady Penelope

    Penny Peyser, aka “Lady Penelope” is an actress / writer / documentary filmmaker living in Los Angeles. Her sonnets have been published in Defenestration , Blood & Bourbon, Page & Spine and Chantwood Magazine among others. Highlights from her acting career include The Hot l Baltimore original production at Circle in the Square, the films All the President’s Men, The InLaws, The Frisco Kid and TV series Rich Man, Poor Man II, The Tony Randall Show, Crazy Like a Fox and Knots Landing. Please visit for all links and to learn about her documentaries Trying to Get Good and Stillpoint. And now Penny Peyser has gathered all of her sonnets into a new book, “Sonnets from Suburbia: More Candles Than Cake”. It is a work of pure genius!

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