In one of my recent ASK BEATTY columms, Are You Looking For Love?  I reminded readers of the importance of not giving up in their pursuit of finding love- regardless of their age or stage in life.  I have treated both women and men in their 70’s, 80’s and even 90’s, who found their special person in the most unexpected ways.  Some met on a golf course- others in an elevator.  Several friends and patients met their partners at a synagogue or church.  One of my favorite patients met her much younger boyfriend in a grocery line at Zabars.   And recently, a patient in her mid 70’s- who had long given up on love, was excited to tell me that she met her new boyfriend in the laundry room of her condo on on the Upper East Side.

Does Your Laudry List Need to be Revised?

When we were very young, many men and women had a laundry list- usually a very long one- of what they thought they wanted and needed in a partner.  Young girls dreamed of marrying someone who was handsome, intelligent, honest, successful and rich.  Today, I know many single, divorced and widowed women who wouldn’t give a man a second look unless he was financially very well-off.  And many men of all ages and stages in life- are unwilling to compromise-  still hoping to find their fantasy woman- sexy and ageless.

Perhaps it’s time that we all take a second look at our very long laundry list of ‘must haves’ in our pursuit of love.  What compromises if any- are you willing to make?  How important is it for your love interest to own a house in the Hamptons or be the CEO of  a major financial institution?  Would you be open to dating and getting to know someone who was attractive, kind, loving, emotionally available and sexy- who didn’t have the financial resources to be able to travel extensivley or take you out to lavish events or to 2 or 3 star michelin restaurants?  In life we all have to make some compromises.  Are you ready to revisit and possibly revise your laundry list?  In doing so, you might very well expand your possibilities of finding love.

My Recent Pickleball Experience

I recently took a long walk in Riverside Park on the Upper West Side.  The trees were beginning to blossom.  Young and old were walking, jogging, pushing baby strollers and riding their bikes.  People looked happy being outdoors in nature in the throes of spring. My walk took me to the pickleball court where dozens of men and women of all ages- were playing pickleball or waiting for a court.  People were enthusiastically talking to one another.  They were engaged with each other and the game.  There were no cellphones or computers.  Although I knew no one and was not planning to play, strangers came up to say hello and asked me to join.  On the court the comraderie was extraordinary- lots of positive interaction and congratulating one another for outstanding play.

What struck me was the ease in which everyone seemed to interact with one another. There were no membership requirements or fees.  People just needed to ‘show up’.  I spoke with a number of people about their pickleball experiences.  Everyone talked primarily about how easy it was to meet people and of course- the benefit of exercising outdoors in a beautiful park setting.  So why not give pickleball a try.  You never know who you might meet when you learn to hit the little yellow plastic ball!

Beyond Singles Events, Dating Sites and Introduction Services

We have become so programmed and rigid in our thinking about the ‘right’ way to go about meeting potential eligible, available, single men and women.  Before dating sites, people would meet each other on the street, at in- person events or be introduced by a relative or a friend of a relative. Although technology and the internet has allowed us to connect with people around the world, it’s no substitute for in- person, face to face meetings and interactions with real life human beings.

So if you’re serious about looking for love, get dressed, leave your devices at home or at your office,  put a smile on your face and begin to re-engage with life.  Perhaps you’ll meet that special person.

Good luck and have fun on your advntures!