Outing Your Inner Naysayers

We all talk about toxic people.
The energy vampires.
The idea squelchers.
The jealous, envious, cantankerous folks who send our dreams running for cover.But over the last few months — and especially after one unforgettable experience — I realized something enormous:The most powerful naysayers aren’t external.
They’re internal.
And unless we out them, they run our lives from the shadows.

Where the Lesson Began

About six months ago, I started experiencing what I lovingly call divinely inspired insomnia.

Not the ordinary, “my brain is a washing machine stuck on spin cycle” insomnia.

This was different.

This was the feeling that some part of my higher self, my intuition — what I call my divine downloads — was whispering (okay, yelling):

“Lois… you’re ignoring something important.”

The message?

Reconnect your giant, quirky, beautiful extended Barth family.

Now, mind you, I come from 25 first cousins, a lineage of storytellers, yakkers-from-way-backers, creatives, entrepreneurs, and culturally curious souls.

Our family reunions are basically part TED Talk, part Yentl, part improv jam.

But despite this pull, I avoided it.
For months. Why?

Enter: the inner naysayers.

Meet the Naysayer Trio

When I finally sat down and did a post-mortem, I realized three main inner naysayers were in charge:

1. “You don’t need another project.”
This one insisted it would require endless work, logistics, and follow-up. My energy! My time! My bandwidth!

2. “No one is going to be interested.”
This naysayer was certain that we were all too busy, too scattered, too something.

3. “It could fall flat.”
Ah yes — the naysayer who believes embarrassment is terminal.

These were the voices that kept whispering their scared, outdated stories. Not because they were trying to sabotage me —
But because they were old coping mechanisms trying to keep me “safe.”

Then Something Happened…

One day, I simply said yes to the download.

I found a bunch of emails from our 2017 in-person family reunion, wrote up a short message, chose a date, and hit CC (which I never do — I’m a proud member of #NO-Reply-All Anonymous).

And then…

Magic.

Emails poured in.
Photos appeared from decades ago.
People shared memories and inside jokes.
A cousin announced he’d been on the Gong Show in the 70s — how did we forget this?!

And when we all met on Zoom?
It wasn’t just a meeting.
It was a love fest.
A reconnection.
A remembering.

I fell in love with my family all over again.

The Truth Behind the Myths

Afterward, I realized how wrong my inner naysayers were.

Naysayer #1: “It’ll be a huge project.”
Truth: I just had to ignite it. One invite. One date. Done. The momentum from others is already in motion.

Naysayer #2: “No one will show interest.”
Truth: Plenty did. Some didn’t. That’s life. But the ones who did? Pure gold.

Naysayer #3: “It might flop.”
Truth: Maybe. But as the Tin Man said to Dorothy:
“We’ll be no worse off than we are right now.”

And that line set me free.

The Bigger Lesson

Here’s what I want you to take away:

Your inner naysayers are way more powerful — and far more covert — than any external critics.

Taking action, even imperfect action, creates transformation.

And your divine downloads will not stop whispering… especially at 3 AM.

So I invite you to sit with this:

  • Where have your inner naysayers been in the driver’s seat?
  • What truth might be hiding beneath their stories?
  • And what small act of ignition could change everything for you — as a human, as a leader, as a creator of your life?

Because you deserve to show up as your most vibrant, aligned self.
And the world needs that version of you —
Not the one edited by your inner naysayers.

If this speaks to you, you got three next steps.

#1- Sharing is caring. Pass this along to others in your life who would benefit from this.

#2- Hey I could use a SPARKLE upgrade! Send me an email to lois@loisbarth.com and I’ll be happy to send you a Outing Your Inner Naysayer Work and Play Sheet!

#3 Hey I could use some extra support for me and/or my team. Great, book a 30 minute discovery free call to discover just how to do that.

#4- Hey you got this in video? I sure do! Here you go!

Thanks for tuning in — and more importantly,

Thanks for not tuning out.

Lois Barth

Lois Barth is a Human Development Expert, Speaker, Life, Business, and Leadership Coach, and author of the book, Courage to SPARKLE. She sees the Courage to SPARKLE as a metaphor to shine bright, share your gifts, and make a difference. She helps people overcome their negative self-talk, effectively deal with stress, communicate more powerfully, take inspired actions, and as a result, build healthy and effective teams and create a life that lights them up. Visit her website https://loisbarth.com/

Lois Barth

Lois Barth is a Human Development Expert, Speaker, Life, Business, and Leadership Coach, and author of the book, Courage to SPARKLE. She sees the Courage to SPARKLE as a metaphor to shine bright, share your gifts, and make a difference. She helps people overcome their negative self-talk, effectively deal with stress, communicate more powerfully, take inspired actions, and as a result, build healthy and effective teams and create a life that lights them up. Visit her website https://loisbarth.com/

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