In 1965, the Lovin’ Spoonful had a mega hit with the song: “Do you Believe in Magic”. The lighthearted melody is addictive, and the lyrics about feeling good and enjoying life create a sense of possibility. Here are some of the catchy lines:

“If you believe in magic, don’t bother to choose
If it’s jug band music or rhythm and blues

Just go and listen, it’ll start with a smile
It won’t wipe off your face no matter how hard you try

Your feet start tapping and you can’t seem to find
How you got there, so just blow your mind.

Do you believe like I believe? (Do you believe in magic?)”
Now swap the word “magic” for “connection”, and ask yourself if you agree that being a connector – a person who looks for and invests in getting to know others – is an important belief of yours? If like me, you value the opportunity to get to know others on more than just a surface level, keep reading!

What’s similar about believing in magic and believing in connection? Understanding that by making a conscious effort to relate to others, enchantment happens.

If you don’t believe me, ask yourself these questions:

• How else do we make friends but by connecting?
• How do we establish credibility in the workplace without first connecting?
• How do romantic relationships flourish without deeply connecting?
• How can we be a good neighbor without getting to know those in our community?
• How are legacies built without connecting to causes we care about?

 Four Easy Tips to Connect at Home, at Work, and Out in the World  

• Believe that others would enjoy connecting with you.

Before you can be an effective connector, you must take inventory of your attitude about connecting. If you are reluctant or uncomfortable to connect, is it because you doubt whether others want to connect with you? Each one of us has our own story, our own set of unique experiences, and our own wisdom to offer others. Be confident that you have much to offer that others will treasure.

“Do not ever let anyone make you feel like you don’t matter.” Michelle Obama  

• Find people to connect with that you admire and want to know better.

When you see the benefits of extending friendship to others, you will be emboldened to ask others to connect with you. In my experience, most people are flattered to be told that someone wants to get to know them better. Start with making a list of those you look up to.  Then extend an invitation for an informal meeting. Once a month, invite someone smarter than you to lunch.  

• Make connecting a priority. Carve out “connection time” in a regular cadence.

When I travel for work, I schedule at least two get-togethers with individuals that aren’t about business. There is never an agenda, other than a catch-up or a get acquainted visit. On an upcoming four-day trip next week, I have one meeting planned per day with people I can’t wait to learn more about. I have no idea where those conversations will lead, but I am excited to have them! Each friend represents a world in us, a world not possibly born until they arrive.  

• Make note of the “bridge” memories that will lead to the next connection.

I admit not being able to recall every detail of conversations I have with connections. So after meetings, I enter the date and a few notes on their contact in my phone. I summarize what we talked about and list threads to follow up on next time. It’s a minor investment of my time to keep current with connections. “Stay curious. It’s much more important to stay interested than to be interesting.” Jane Fonda

What You’ll Gain from Being a Connector

In addition to cultivating friendships, a support team, and advocates, the most rewarding aspect of being a connector is learning that YOU matter. As Helen Hayes said, there are people who value you in their lives – who look up to you, care about you, and are grateful you are connected to them. Never forget that you make a difference to others.

Connecting on a regular basis solidifies and strengthens those bonds. Let me know about all the ways you connect by writing to me at AnnLoudenCo@gmail.com.  Here’s to your connections!