Before I’ve even stepped inside the terminal, my travel mindset kicks in. I always ask the driver to place my bag directly on the airport walkway—not in the street. It’s a small ritual that sets the tone for navigating check-in quirks, gate drama, airborne etiquette, and the occasional absurdity of shared spaces. After 33 years of flying with The Women’s Travel Group, I’ve learned to ask for help when I travel, and speak up when a situation calls for it. I hope my tips will give you the courage to speak up too.

To the Airport I always ask the driver to place my bag on the airport walkway, not in the street. This minimizes the possibility of leaving it behind.

Check in, TSA and Gate  At check in if you plan to carry it on, don’t make it an attention getter.  But at TSA  do ask someone to lift your bag onto the conveyor.

At the gate, you might see a bag sizer. Overseas, sizing is more strictly enforced. On some discount European airlines, you need to bring evidence that you paid for your larger bag or you will pay again. The bag must fit into the box. No, you cannot sit on it and squish it in. Just pay the fee and get over it. Note: on European discounters, there might be 2 levels of carry on size dependent. It is confusing for us.

Departure area. Again this happens to me all the time. The only empty seat has someone’s stuff in it. I always ask if I can sit there. Sometimes they say: No my friend is coming. If I really need to sit,  I announce, I will move when your friend arrives. 50% of the time, there is no friend. Once the friend arrived and, as I moved, he started screaming at me. So what? He would be the one getting arrested, not me.

On the plane A carry on of max 35 lbs & 21 inches is hard to lift into overhead compartments. I learned to ask for help, without feeling weak.A strong passenger will help and just ask nicely. (Airline staff are not allowed to lift bags for risk of injury.  The exception is if you are disabled they might help you).

Others use your overhead? You cannot ask them to move luggage; overhead is a free for all and considered public space. Your ‘private space’ is around your feet and under the seat  in front of you. Here is one unanswerable question. I flew first class and the overhead was full. My suitcase managed to fit. Even first class overhead is public for all to use. Staff does not have to move items around to accommodate another bag.

Seating If asked by a passenger to change your seat, you do not have to. Do not move until or when you get an incentive, or if the new seat is acceptable. When we lived in London, I flew to Miami, with 2 babies with 3 pre paid seats. Our seats were separated by the computer. I told check in staff This will be the best flight of my life. Someone  else will entertain 2 babies for 10 hours. We were moved into first class. (A proposed Biden law about seating families together was sadly canceled so try to be helpful if you can).

Seat swapping If the seat adjacent to you was empty at departure, and now there is a person in it? Ask the flight attendant to check the person’s boarding pass. That seat might require the same upgrade payment you ante’d. Sometimes staff avoids confrontations, so ask for the purser. There is increasing theft of this type which is why it now has a name.

You want to move, first ask staff for permission; stress the seat you want is equivalent. Note: staff might say ok, but give you someone’s kosher meal. I learned special meals are assigned by seat not by name.

Someone is sleeping on your shoulder? There is sort of a do-not-touch rule. Staff might not help you if your seat mate is taking the armrest or your general space. But leaning on you or touching you is a no no. Ask the person first, then get assistance.

Loud videos  First ask politely if the person can lower volume or use earphones. Again staff prioritizes safety over general comfort. You can try, but do the ask away from the perpetrator. That lowers the temperature.

A tight connection and need to disembark fast. Yes, ask everyone to let you pass. In 99% of cases, others will understand.

Need the bathroom and someone in it is reading the encyclopedia. You cannot ask them to depart; but you can wiggle the bathroom handle. It alerts them that others are waiting. Almost a guarantee, they will hurry up.

Access to the USB port shared with another seat. If the seat mate hogs it, (happened to me), wait and ask again. I waited hours, pulled out her charger and inserted mine. I simply said: My turn.

Disgusting: bare feet, odors. Safety first, odors second. Bare feet are allowed on airplanes.  Yes, you can ask for help from staff; they will usually mediate or move your seat or in worst cases where it might create a health or safety issue, call the pilot. Staff say most passengers comply, if asked to put on shoes or cease anti social behavior. If the behavior broaches on illegal or unsafe, expect law enforcement.

Can you ask for the armrest I did not know that airplane decorum  is that the middle person gets both armrests? Honestly, do not thing passengers know or will honor this either. Same with seat reclining; the only time you should ask and expect help, is if the person in front of you is reclining in a way that prevents your meal tray from extending and holding your food.

You are sincerely scared. I sat next to a soldier who had a gun. He took it out and his wife seemed nervous. I quietly got up and notified staff. Apparently only a soldier in uniform can carry a gun and he was not in uniform. Staff immediately intervened, moved me far from him and all was peaceful. I am not sure what or if anything happened to him. If you are scared because the person next to you is clearly ill, you can ask to move but iffy chances.

Sexual Assault I will finish with a friend’s experience on an international flight. She had taken ambien to sleep; she had business meetings after the 10 hour flight.  She woke up as her seat mate was groping her breasts.  She immediately complained to staff and even to his wife/partner who was seated nearby. Staff agreed to move her, not him- talk about discrimination. She did not want to file a complaint that might get back to her employer.  Where she went wrong is not demanding for the pilot to intervene. And to intervene aggressively. And to ask for police at the destination.