Holidays are around the corner and this means emotional gift wrapping, especially to women who are single, feel single or travel singly. The New York Times and Liberty Travel basically give away airfare to Mexico, free nights at luxury hotels and discounts. But none of these are deals for solo travelers who still face the single supplement penalty. This penalty can range from 20%- 100% on cruise ships!
Women who want to go it alone have other concerns as Holidays bring out family memories and a sense of a lost past and families dispersed. On a more practical level, travel to the obvious places during the Holidays can have higher airfares, more traffic and delays. Everyone has seen the movies about people stranded in airports during snow storms or over Dec. 25!
As a former President of a large tour operator for women, this author wants to encourage women to get out and treat themselves especially for Holidays , birthdays and private celebrations, however you define them.
Here are a few stories and a few suggested places to consider by yourself.
In 2004 I was asked to talk to a group of 9/11 fire fighter widows, who wanted to take vacations but were scared and embarassed to go alone. One middle aged woman said she wanted to discuss the Princess Cruise she had taken with 2 teen daughters. "On the first day, the girls made a quick exit to go swimming. I realized the 7 books I brought would never be enough!". "The next day was Sunday so I went to church services and sat next to two women. We ended up having lunch together. Later that day I saw a family whose father was wearing a NYFD cap; I went over and introduced myself; they were with a group and invited me to join them." Day one ended and I had met new friends, travel friends not best buddies, but I was no longer alone".
Second story: A businesswoman was staying at a luxury hotel with a gorgeous bar. She wanted to sit in the bar, not be disturbed and have a special glass of wine to celebrate her end of a successful trip. Several men bothered her, so she turned the conversation on its head and said: “How very nice to meet you both, my name is Sister Mary Margaret”. They not only left her alone for the rest of her evening but they protected her against other intrusive men.
However you do it, do not be afraid to eat alone, have a lovely glass of vintage cab alone, attend a play or concert alone or just people watch in the lobby or café alone.
Some general tips:
--Learn to be friendly rather than lost looking, practice talking to strangers close to home. Talk to people as you stand on line for events or just expand conversations with a sales person or bus driver.
--Have a few items but not name tags: a cap, a newspaper, a tee shirt with your college, home town, a marathon, a charity. This writer had a beautiful encounter with a sales man in a flea market in Havana, due to the pink breast cancer motif on her hat. The man told her all about his wife who had died from breast cancer and gave her a small gift item in exchange for the hat. The real gift was the conversation with this Cuban who rarely met Americanas.
--Get information on out of town groups you can connect to : Rotary? Alumnai group? Business group? Group associated with a hobby? And email them ahead of time to introduce yourself as a visitor who wants to meet up.
--Ask staff if they can suggest comfortable places to dine alone. Have the maitre d' call ahead and tell them that you are coming alone and they should treat you as a VIP. Get the name of the person he or she books with so you can greet them at the restaurant and thank them for the expected extra attention.
--Join walking tours in your language; these are easy to find on the internet.
--Check out Let's Go Guidebooks which have a lot of comfortable eating choices: cafeterias, outdoor cafes, counter spaces, museum restaurants.
--Find and book interactive events: cooking class, book store reading, hike,charity marathon. And don’t just go, talk to the others in the class.
Some places to get away from it all and not feel lonely:
- Non Jewish/ and non Christian sites: Morocco, Egypt, Jordan.
- Unusual sites where you can enjoy native celebrations of say,Christmas: Guatemala, and the more native areas of Mexico
- Places sure to attract other tourists over the Holidays: New York, New Orleans, San Antonio. And go to the most famous church for services even if you are not 0bservant or even Christian- the music will be gorgeous.
- Paris- the only city I know of that is open almost the whole day on Dec. 24, then celebrates midnight mass in spectacular churches. Note: on Dec. 25 in Paris last year I found my hotel full of jolly tourists hanging around and being friendly over drinks and nibbles all day.
- River cruises regularly float down European rivers, with Christmas markets beforehand and holiday meals during. Their single supplements can vary but do not trust the web, call them directly! Here are a few: www.uniworld.com,www.vikingrivers.com, www.amawaterways.com. A trick is to google the name of the actual ship, like MV Indochine which goes up the Mekong. Then you can compare the prices and add-ons that different companies market.
- The way out of the way: Kenya, India, W. Africa: your memories will disappear in the excitement of it all. And your gifts to yourself will be cheap, fabulous and exotic.
So friends, if you have questions about a trip or destination for the Holidays, email me and I will do my best to help you decide.
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Phyllis Stoller has a BA from Tufts University, an MA from New York University and a Finance Degree from the University of the South Bank, London England. Phyllis Stoller founded and managed for 16 years, the largest tour operator for women in North America. She was voted top in women’s travel by Travel & Leisure Magazine,the first to receive this honor. Phyllis has appeared on The Today Show, CNN, Lifetime TV for Women and others. She is a consultant on marketing to women.
Phyllis now resides in New York City and London, England and is affiliated with ECPS Consulting Corporation in New York. She prides herself on her family: husband, Eric, a ‘keeper’, sons Nick (comedy writer and director of Forgetting Sarah Marshall) and Matt , a progressive political strategist who works with liberal Democratic candidates. Phyllis can be reached at Phyllisnycity@gmail.com.
Past Articles
TRAVEL TIPS FOR TOMATOES
For more great tips, visit Phyllis at the Examiner.
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Plan a Solo Holiday Vacation and Leave the Angst Behind
Phyliis Stoller
