SEARCHING FOR MEN ON ALL THE WRONG SITES
I have been on a senior dating site for three years. I know this is the kiss of death. When I see the same pictures popping up again and again, I immediately think, “You never found anyone did you,”? Come to think of it neither have I or I wouldn’t be looking at these same pictures over and over.
There can be many reasons for a person to stay on a site longer than normal; if anything about meeting the love of your life through a computer is normal.
I have been on this site for several reasons. For one thing I am a slow learner at the new rules of the day.
When I was young there were parties and “fix-ups” and just walking down the street, saying hello to a stranger, more in your expression than your words. Now you turn on your computer and see if anyone
found and liked you and you feel the same way. If you do, hope that in that small time frame some other woman didn’t get there first.
I also didn’t seem to look at the reality of geography.
I always found men in California the most attractive. I am sure if I lived in California and not Manhattan it might have been the opposite. The California men have the advantage of sun more than two weeks of the year.The
Manhattan man {through no fault of his own) embodies the pale Manhattan vampire allure. As for my image, when I look in the mirror I see myself as a young woman. I see her as I imagine others see her.
Obviously, I am either totally delusional or I am seeing what is eternally on the inside. Here comes the delusion. If I ever doubted that people don’t see what I see, all I have to do is enter a crowded subway train. I am always offered a seat. I used to be offended, now I am grateful.
The women in my family never gave up possibility. The possibility that they would meet the man they have been looking for all their lives (I mainly, not exclusively) speak of the single women. When my Aunt was 73 years old she married for the third time. He moved into her apartment, fixed some broken objects, build new furniture and slowly but surely allowed my aunt\ to realize she preferred living alone.
The main reason I stay on this site is I feel if I leave I will be shutting men out of my life forever. I will be closing the door on that one exhausted hormone that just won’t give up.
Meeting a partner at this age is very different to youth, but some aspects remain the same. We want companionship and we want sex (sometimes.) Sex is fun, healthy and good for getting rid of stress. Of course it is the relationship that is causing the stress; however life is a compromise.
I like the male energy, which belies that fact that 50% of my close friends are gay men. I have received pictures on this site where the man looks like he is nine months pregnant; he can have more hair on his body than a silver back gorilla and slightly resemble a garden gnome. women will respond. Someday you may see an attractive woman walking down the street with a silver back gorilla, and not think twice. She has found her man. If by chance he is attractive, intelligent and not living on the streets a woman must move fast. He will set off a female feeding frenzy and before you have typed “You interest me.” Another woman has snatched him on her fin and off they go.
Every species needs to meet and mate, or it will be a very empty world. One way or the other while the hormones are screaming “pick me, pick me”, one gets picked and our species continues.
Methods of attractions in the animal world are not so different. Give a chimpanzee a computer and see what develops? The male of some species will go out of his way to show off the most beautiful parts of himself. Not unlike a drag queen in the human species.
So back to being on line for three long years. Men are beginning to recycle. Some of the picture I am looking at resemble the living dead, dug up, propped on a chair with a yellow smiling face pinned to his shredded jacket. To think when I was young the worst thing that could have happened is the male du jour would say he would call and he wouldn’t. I stayed home waiting for the telephone to ring; waiting for the prince to arrive with the glass slipper; now the slipper is chipped and it probably won’t fit over my bunion.
From that first kiss from my eight year old boy friend; to insisting on keeping one hormone in my body (even if it did come from my gynecologists prescription pad) it has been a long and interesting journey.
I want the taste of romance again before I give up the ghost. If that ghost is attractive maybe something can happen. Or that ghost could decide that there is no chemistry between us and float off to another specter with bigger breasts.
My advice is take action even if you don’t want to; take it while you are still able, emotionally and physically.
Turn off that TV; put on the most attractive shoes that will accommodate the bunion and go out in the world.
When I am 80 years old I still want a taste of honey even if it is hell on dentures. My emotional life will always come first.
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Jane Grows Up
Humorous musings on growing older from a slightly neurotic New Yorker
Native New Yorker, Jane Stroll infuses her comedy with a psychology of human relations based on her years working as a Therapist and Social worker.
Intelligence and a skewed view of reality are the hallmarks of her humor.
Reviewers have called her “offbeat”, “neurotic” and “hilarious”.
She has performed in all the best comedy clubs in New York including Caroline’s and the Improvisation (the “original”), and cabaret rooms including Roses Turn, The Duplex, , Don’t Tell Mama, and the Metropolitan Room. She has appeared on Lifetimes “Girls Night Out” (twice), “Caroline’s Comedy Hour on A&E, “The History of Jewish Comedy” on PBS.
Currently she is developing her own one woman show and has performed it in LA, NYC and Mexico.
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