Paula Forman hasn’t missed a significant boomer event since her birth.

She received the Salk polio vaccine, got under the cafeteria tables for protection from nuclear attacks during the Cold War, was involved in the civil rights movement and protested the Vietnam War.

Then she married Phil, earned a Ph.D. from Columbia University in Sociology, and was active in the woman’s movement. It was the era of the Supermom and Paula, a consummate boomer, “did it all.” She built a major career in advertising and raised two children, Jon and Isadora.

She was recognized by her industry as one of Ad Age’s “Best and Brightest” (1984) and with the Matrix award to “The Outstanding Women in Communications” (1993). After a long run at Saatchi & Saatchi as Executive Vice President and Worldwide Account Director for Procter & Gamble, she ultimately became President of Wells Rich Greene/NY.

Paula left the advertising business in 1999 and became an adjunct Professor of Sociology. She taught at The City University of New York (Hunter College and John Jay College of Criminal Justice) and Simon’s Rock College of Bard. She currently writes a gardening column for InsideOut magazine in the Hudson Valley.

As a leading edge boomer, Paula has brought her personal experience as well as her scholarship to the exploration of the current boomer phenomenon—aging. Always willing to take her own medicine, Paula is now in the middle of another life change.
You can read her blog and more about her book at The Hourglass Solution.

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Tomato Pleasures:  Life in the slower lane
Paula Forman, co-author The Hourglass Solution

For 30 years I awoke to an alarm clock in what seemed like the middle of the night. The apartment was always cold because the heat hadn’t come on yet, but there was work to be done... a few loads of laundry – exercise- a husband to negotiate with -kids to dress and to hurry along—- all before jumping into my Armani and heading off to work.  That amount of activity in a short period of time inevitably had a lot of stress associated with it— was it even possible that four people could get out the door with their clothes on and their faculties in tact feeling strong and ready for the day?

I guess somehow we all managed but I do remember the day when my kids- weary of my Holly Hunter routine in the back of the cab  (“TURN NOW TURN NOW ON 18TH” – failure to do would mean 3 EXTRA LIGHTS and interminable MINUTES of DELAY) asked me to please- skip taking them to school- they would prefer to go with the Nanny...

So these days- when my husband and I awaken easily sometime between 7 and 8—chat for a few minutes before fetching a cup of coffee to be sipped leisurely in bed as we anticipate our day I am mighty grateful for the delicious freedom that comes with this life stage.

Although I am of the super-mom generation, I don’t think the stress of morning responsibilities for women have changed much in a century.  I often share my morning workout with young mothers. Some have jobs as well and it easy to see that I begin the day with a lighter heart than most of them.

Some of lightness is that my children are grown and living on their own.  My kids are bright and happy and engaged in lives of their own choosing.  I wish I knew then what I know now…I see younger women agonize over their children’s issues with an intensity that I engaged in too in those days.  I still worry from time to time, for my children, and about them but it is very much lighter not to be in control of their decisions- and the certain knowledge that most things are developmental and the rest is fixable is a powerful insight.
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Some of the lightness is that my work is done in my own study on my own timing and that I am no longer at the beck and call of clients requiring twice weekly airplane travel.  Probably most important is that I am my own boss and I am pretty gentle with me.

Some is due to the miraculous discovery that much of my suffering was optional.  There are entire categories of pain that became obsolete with business suits and shoes that hurt my feet.  For example – the years of my life I surrendered badhairdays or feeling fat.  Whatever the code – the meaning is the same- a self-inflicted, self-defeating fugue state that sucks the joy out of the day.  I still have days when my hair looks funny and today I am reflecting on the fried chicken and chocolate dessert I had last night- but suffering?  Out of the question.

Tomato Pleasures are out there for the picking.  They require a bit a self-knowledge, reflection and the discipline to resist one’s default position… the practiced routes to self-sabotage.

And BTW-- put everything in the dishwasher.