Guest Experts
Here's where you'll find articles on a wide range of topics by various experts.
Rev. Laurie Sue Brockway is an interfaith minister, wedding officiant, love coach and author. Her speciality is sacred relationships and women's spirituality.
Formerly a journalist specializing in women’s empowerment, she's written many books, published thousands of articles, and was editor-in-chief of Playgirl and Single Living, and managing editor of Women’s News.
Her newest books are The Goddess Pages: A Divine Guide to Finding Love and Happiness (Llewellyn, November 2008) and Pet Prayers and Blessings: Ceremonies and Celebrations to Share with the Animals You Love (Sterling Books, September 2008).
She is also author of Wedding Goddess and of the Self Healing Expressions e-courses, Find Your Spiritual Soulmate and Discovering The Goddess.
She has an active wedding ministry in New York City and specializes in interfaith, multi-cultural and non-denominational weddings, and bridal stress. She officiates personalized and unique wedding and vow renewal ceremonies created for couples of all backgrounds, faiths and cultures.
She has has been giving advice on matters of the heart and soul since she was 15; and has been doing so professionally as a columnist, spiritual
A warm, insidious ached blossomed slowly inside her.
She heard herself moan with soft pleasure and delight,
as Blake’s Hand gently stroked her flesh.
Beneath his palms she felt herself fill with desire.
- From Runaway Love
I remember when I first read that passage from a romance novel, I wondered: Who is this Blake character and is he available for a summer share (of my body) for July and August? The year was 1986, and I had penciled in only one appointment for two hot and breezy months… Summer Love.
Some 22 years later, I’m a married Tomato with a kid, a house and a dog. My beloved is Vic, not Blake. And to be honest, in recent times, I have not been as concerned with the old insidious ache as I have, say, adding feng shui touches to my living room.
As summer is upon us, I am ready to feng shui the love corner of my bedroom … and to share some of my relationship wisdom with my sisters who are searching for love.
After years of teaching workshops, coaching women and talking to friends, I realize what is missing from the lives of soulful, single adult women. We take love so seriously… we work so hard to get it right… we are so focused on not making yet another romantic mistake that we ain’t having any fun!
What would happen if we could get into that old summer love consciousness and toss our cares, old broken hearts and most of our relationship expectations to the wind? We’d be liberated … and free to love without attachment or expectation. We’d be Summer Love Goddesses.
The idea is Summer Love, in its truest essence, is a very Buddhist thing – no attachments, and full acceptance that it will end, sometime. Along the way we make it point to have as much fun, excitement, new experiences, passion and joy we can. We don’t worry about the consequences and we have no expectations of the outcome.
For all you Summer Love Goddesses at heart, I suggest a break from seriousness, and a fling with lighthearted love. When you take the charge of finding the perfect love, and are willing to indulge in a little carefree romance, you will be surprised how much easier it may be to see love and relationships in a new light that supports your long term goals.
Just consider it Advanced Summer Love, and consider yourself duly entitled to as much passion, romance and fun as you can muster. “The whole point is to be caught up in the romance and the heat of the moment, and to be spontaneous,” recalls my friend Charlotte, for whom Summer Love was a prerequisite to college. “There are a lot of spur of the moment adventures. You don’t mind if he shows up unexpectedly at midnight – you love it. At any other time, if a guy shows up without calling, you say he has ‘boundary issues.’ But with summer love, you don’t mind anything he does. Time is short and nit-picking and trying to transform him into the perfect man is just not an issue.”
Imagine what could happen to our love lives if we approached them from this Summer Love perspective: We’d be in a state of surrender, which would make it a little easier for True Love to find us. In winter, our potential mates have to battle the winter bulge of the armor covering our hearts, and slay the dragon of our mindsets that says perfect love must look, behave and feel a certain way. In the state of Summer Love, we are lighter and airier!
Here are some guidelines for Advanced Summer Love:
1. Pencil in ROMANCE in big red letters across your calendar for July and August. This will be your first symbolic gesture to the universe that “yes, I am getting that loving feeling and I am opening to my Summer Love.”
2. Get into “summer love consciousness” and include it as part of your spiritual practice. Meditate, pray, visualize, and daydream about hot and passionate summer days with an oh-so-special Summer Love who treats you like a Goddess.
3. Be spontaneous and gain some mastery over your issues about control and surrender. Learn to go with the flow.
4. Use this list of the qualities of your ideal summer love and read it every day for the next thirty days; add in your own. By the time July rolls around, true summer love will be getting closer!
Be sure to include on your list these essential summer love qualities. (I’ve used the pronoun “He,” but feel free to adapt to your needs). Your Summer Love:
•
Glances at you in a way that makes you feel you are the only two human beings on the planet.
Glances at you in a way that makes you feel you are the only two human beings on the planet.•Communicates passion and appreciation with stunning force.
Communicates passion and appreciation with stunning force.•Can dissolve all your concerns and worries, as well as inspire the ole’ “insidious ache” with just one kiss.
Can dissolve all your concerns and worries, as well as inspire the ole’ “insidious ache” with just one kiss.•Is a breath-taking hunk of handsomeness and sexiness in your eyes, with a body and manner that makes you want to surrender to love.
Is a breath-taking hunk of handsomeness and sexiness in your eyes, with a body and manner that makes you want to surrender to love.•Has a master’s degree in sexual healing, Tantra and the art of love.
Has a master’s degree in sexual healing, Tantra and the art of love.•Is so passionate, romantic and alluring that even if your favorite movie star called for a date, you wouldn’t leave your Summer Love?
Is so passionate, romantic and alluring that even if your favorite movie star called for a date, you wouldn’t leave your Summer Love?•For an entire summer he is yours – body, mind and spirit – and your are his, and you revel in your own vulnerability and willingness.
For an entire summer he is yours – body, mind and spirit – and your are his, and you revel in your own vulnerability and willingness.•You have frequent out of body experiences in his presence.
You have frequent out of body experiences in his presence.•You really like him a lot
You really like him a lot•He will say, more than once, “You are the most beautiful (sexy, gorgeous, etc.) woman I have ever seen,” “I love your spirit (soul, who you are, etc.),” “Let’s do it somewhere different tonight!”
He will say, more than once, “You are the most beautiful (sexy, gorgeous, etc.) woman I have ever seen,” “I love your spirit (soul, who you are, etc.),” “Let’s do it somewhere different tonight!”Remember, it may seem like a summer fling, but Summer Love Consciousness is actually an educational experience. True, you many learn new things about the human anatomy – on beaches and in beautiful natural areas – but you will also learn how to lighten up about love and expectations. Summer Love Consciousness is a state of mind you can enter any time… your soul mate will ultimately be ever so happy to meet you there, in the land of carefree abandon, where love can speak for itself and have a chance to grow. And where you can be the Summer Love Goddess you are meant to be.
Now, all you married Goddesses, its time to wake up your “Love Gua” and begin to see your hubby again as your best summer love, ever!
© Copyright 2008 Reverend Laurie Sue Brockway All Rights Reserved.
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