(Hey, she has to vent somewhere.)
The NYC Insiders Guide
for women who aren't kids
PTA Mom is the mother of three young kids age 6 and under who somehow either start out in the bed or end up there at some point during the night. She has a demanding job trying to make stuff up all day, coaches’ softball and cheerleading teams--which is like herding cats, a husband who at all times would rather be golfing and has a nanny with a tramp stamp. She loves red wine, Ciroc vodka and has gotten pretty good at the BBQ. Do not ask her to ever do the laundry as she doesn’t separate whites from darks and thinks Mr. Clean is really one of those hot bald guys. Come visit on a Friday during the summer and you are bound to hear some bad Karaoke. Just don’t ask her to remove the bag or you’d see her forked tongue.
She chooses to remain anonymous. Do you blame her?
Tomato Vines- What’s Sprouting
My top 10 news picks this week
10.Record breaking spring started- Irony of a beautiful night and sleeping with the windows open is the annoying birds outside my window singing at the crack of dawn. Go away. 9.All this talk about swine flu put a damper on me enjoying my bacon, egg & cheese sandwich. But pork industry says wait- you can’t catch H1N1 ABC MYOB LOL BYOB, or whatever the new name is, from eating pork. 8.Biden suggests to family members not to ride the subway. He’s not really scared of swine flu; he just hasn’t taken Krav Maga. 7.Gov’t: “Avoid all non-essential air travel.” Would that include Air Force One’s flying low over NYC? 6.American Idol sends Matt packing with Carrie Underwood singing Motley Crue's "Home Sweet Home.” This version would have made my big 80's hair gone straight. 5.Madonna unhappy about Malawi court decision will now turn to adopting Somali pirates. 4.Arlen Specter defects to the dems saying: “I’m full of Vim, Vigor, and Vitality.” Yeah, and you forgot the Vinegar that’s been preserving you all these years. 3.Courtesy of the Onion- Obama’s first 100 days in office. DAY 100: Everything all fixed. 2.A-Rod caught in yet another steroid scandal. His teammates called him "bitch tits." What's worse is that they also say he was a poor tipper at Hooters...and he HAS Hooters. 1.Bring on the Kentucky Derby. PTA Mom has a custom made hat to fit over whole foods bag.