PTA Mom is the mother of three young kids age 6 and under who somehow either start out in the bed or end up there at some point during the night. She has a demanding job trying to make stuff up all day, coaches’ softball and cheerleading teams--which is like herding cats, a husband who at all times would rather be golfing and has a nanny with a tramp stamp. She loves red wine, Ciroc vodka and has gotten pretty good at the BBQ. Do not ask her to ever do the laundry as she doesn’t separate whites from darks and thinks Mr. Clean is really one of those hot bald guys. Come visit on a Friday during the summer and you are bound to hear some bad Karaoke. Just don’t ask her to remove the bag or you’d see her forked tongue.
She chooses to remain anonymous. Do you blame her?
10. Dear Steve Phillips from ESPN- didn't Bill Clinton teach you a lesson on why you shouldn't cheat with a chubby 22 year old from your office?
9. Beware of waiters named Pauli Two-Times and Tony No-Nuts. The mafia isn’t the only ones gunning down at Sparks. The famous steakhouse settled a $3+ million lawsuit with waiters over tips that were taken.
8. A Minnesota man has pleaded guilty to driving his motorized La-Z-Boy chair while drunk. That’s funny enough without me adding anything.
7. Obama now is ordering that some executive’s pay for the bailed out companies be slashed by up to 90 percent. Boo hoo. They’ll be crying in their Cristal.
6. The NJ Governor’s race is tight. Jon Corzine is running against Chris Christie in what polls say is a very close race. Corzine needs to be careful, Christie might just eat him to win.
5. There are allegations that Yankees closer Mariano Rivera has been cheating by throwing a spitball. Mrs. Rivera is greatly relieved he's only cheating with a spitball.
4. Levi Johnston, the baby daddy of Sarah Palin's grandson, said of his photo spread in Playgirl that he will "keep it classy." I guess as classy as a spread can be coming from someone named Levi.
3. Miley Cyrus is playing herself in a cameo in the upcoming Sex and the City 2 movie. Samantha’s secret granddaughter?
2. White House unveils new Obama family portrait - photographed by Annie Leibovitz Maybe she’s looking for a government bailout.
1. Asleep in the air? A Northwest plane misses airport by 150 mi. Can anyone say “mile high club”?