PTA Mom
(Hey, she has to vent somewhere.)
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PTA Mom is the mother of three young kids age 6 and under who somehow either start out in the bed or end up there at some point during the night. She has a demanding job trying to make stuff up all day, coaches’ softball and cheerleading teams--which is like herding cats, a husband who at all times would rather be golfing and has a nanny with a tramp stamp. She loves red wine, Ciroc vodka and has gotten pretty good at the BBQ. Do not ask her to ever do the laundry as she doesn’t separate whites from darks and thinks Mr. Clean is really one of those hot bald guys. Come visit on a Friday during the summer and you are bound to hear some bad Karaoke. Just don’t ask her to remove the bag or you’d see her forked tongue.
She chooses to remain anonymous. Do you blame her?
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PTA Mom
Top Ten Holiday Movie Picks
10. Hasselhoff the Red- Nosed Drunk- David Hasselhoff, clad only in blue jeans lays on the floor of a room clumsily eating a hamburger.
9. Miracle on the BQE- Santa’s sleigh gets struck in traffic, but he is offered a lift on the back of a motorcycle and weaves his way in and out of traffic to get to Macy’s just in time for his photo session with the kids.
8. Frosty has Erectile Dysfunction- You would too if you had no wife and an icy hand.
7. How the Big Banks Stole Christmas- The Grinch, er, I mean Banks, have a terrible, awful plan to steal all the loans back from the good people in Whoville.
6. The Bi-Polar Express- Set in the North Pole, it’s an action packed thriller starring Tom Cruise as a couch jumping washed up little Elf.
5. A Charlie Rose Christmas- why would Charlie chose an ugly round wooden table and darkened room for the holiday party? Good grief.
4. A Christmas Paula- Paula Abdul is haunted by the ghosts of Simon Cowell, Randy Jackson and Ryan Seacrest.
3. Old Ladies in Toyland- The true hollywood story about Meredith Baxter and Nancy Locke’s quest for the perfect vibrator.
2. A Year without a Bonus Clause- Dear Santa: I want some TARP. Starring Merrill Lynch.
1. It Was a Wonderful Life- stars Tiger Woods about the life he used to have.
