PTA Mom is the mother of three young kids age 6 and under who somehow either start out in the bed or end up there at some point during the night. She has a demanding job trying to make stuff up all day, coaches’ softball and cheerleading teams--which is like herding cats, a husband who at all times would rather be golfing and has a nanny with a tramp stamp. She loves red wine, Ciroc vodka and has gotten pretty good at the BBQ. Do not ask her to ever do the laundry as she doesn’t separate whites from darks and thinks Mr. Clean is really one of those hot bald guys. Come visit on a Friday during the summer and you are bound to hear some bad Karaoke. Just don’t ask her to remove the bag or you’d see her forked tongue.
She chooses to remain anonymous. Do you blame her?
10. The Obama’s handed out dried fruit to the trick-or-treaters at the white house. That’s one sure way to make sure those kids don’t come back for seconds.
9. Mariah Carey and her boobs made quite an entrance on The Jay Leno show the other night. At least if she did fall, she’d have those cushions to land on.
8. New Jersey Governor Jon Corzine was defeated by Chris Christie. I don’t trust people with two first names. Maybe having two last names might be better…like Anderson Cooper. Nah, that doesn’t work either.
7. Despite a shortage of the swine flu vaccine, the Pentagon is offering shots to the 215 terrorism detainees at Guantanamo Bay. I know what kind of shot you can give them, but it isn’t swine flu.
6. Disney got permission to build a theme park in Shanghai, China. Mickey Mouse must be thrilled to finally be somewhere where the people are as tall as he is.
5. A man was denied a first-class seat on United for wearing a track suit. The track suit would be OK with me; it’s the fanny pack that I have to draw the line at.
4. A woman found out she is allergic to her husband on their wedding night. Most of us usually wait a few years before we start saying our hubby’s make us sick.
3. Mad men is wrapping up season 3. Jon Hamm, as Don Draper, is the sexiest man I’d never want to marry.
2. Big Bird is turning 40. Bet that darn bird doesn't have to start dying his hair or plucking feathers from his chin once he hits the big 4-0.
1. The Yankees won their 27th World Series. As a Mets fan, I’m hoping Kate Hudson can give some lovin’ to David Wright next year since she seems to have a magic Vajayjay.