(Hey, she has to vent somewhere.)
The NYC Insiders Guide
for women who aren't kids
PTA Mom is the mother of three young kids age 6 and under who somehow either start out in the bed or end up there at some point during the night. She has a demanding job trying to make stuff up all day, coaches’ softball and cheerleading teams--which is like herding cats, a husband who at all times would rather be golfing and has a nanny with a tramp stamp. She loves red wine, Ciroc vodka and has gotten pretty good at the BBQ. Do not ask her to ever do the laundry as she doesn’t separate whites from darks and thinks Mr. Clean is really one of those hot bald guys. Come visit on a Friday during the summer and you are bound to hear some bad Karaoke. Just don’t ask her to remove the bag or you’d see her forked tongue.
She chooses to remain anonymous. Do you blame her?
10. From David Letterman: Labor Day is the great American holiday where we honor American workers by going out and buying products made in China.
9. Michael Jackson was finally laid to rest. While Gladys Night sang the hymn “His eye is on the sparrow,” his family was singing “My eyes are on the money.”
8. A 68 year old man celebrated his 50th year working at McDonalds. He’s tried everything on the menu and in the 80’s was repeatedly mistaken for Grimace although he prefers to be called Mayor McCheese.
7. Ellen DeGeneres was named the 4th judge on American Idol. I can’t wait to see the sexual tension between her and Simon.
6. The world’s oldest person died at the age of 115. I’m thinking I’ll be 115 before healthcare reform gets passed.
5. The U.S. Open continues this week in Queens, also home of the Mets. The Mets games have gotten so boring that even their mascot, Mr. Met, snuck next door to catch a glimpse of Maria Sharapova.
4. President Obama was heckled while giving his healthcare reform speech. It was hard to tell if Nancy Pelosi was upset because she always seems angry.
3. New York Fashion night out was a great success but the models were way too skinny. I think some of them should try a Happy Meal once in a while. Or better yet, try working at McDonald’s for a little while. I hear they have good benefits.
2. Derek Jeter tied Lou Gehrig's franchise hits record. His teammate A-Rod hardly even noticed- he was too busy making out with Kate Hudson.
1. Sarah Palin said in her op-ed piece in The Wall Street Journal that she’s against death panels. She prefers to hunt the elderly to give them a fighting chance.