10. A Virginia cheating hubby’s punishment from his wife is to confess his sins on a message board while standing in front of a mall. If she’s dumb enough to have that as a punishment, no wonder he cheated on her. Who is the one being humiliated?
9. Fed chief Bernanke is a victim of identity theft. Too bad we can’t just blame all the bail out money on ID theft - like “some guy named AIG stole our money.”
8. What’s the one song you won’t hear at Michael Vicks debut with the Eagles: “Who let the dogs out!”
7. Guest staying at the Standard Hotel in Manhattan have failed to close their curtains and can be seen naked in front of the floor-to-ceiling windows from the High Line Park down below. Last year the building won an award for being the best new building erected. Bet that’s not the only thing that’s being erected these days.
6. Cash for Clunkers ended with about 700,000 cars being sold. Two or three of them may have even been made in the United States.
5. Could she be a he? South African runner Caster Semenya's is scheduled to undergo a “sex-test” to prove her gender. I’m sure Venus Williams is relieved that steroids are the only thing they tested her for.
4. Libyan leader Moammar Gadhafi wants to stay in New Jersey next month after he addresses the United Nations general assembly. I think we can change his mind by sending him the DVD collection of the Real Housewives of New Jersey.
3. Celine Dion announced she is pregnant again. I hope her baby’s head isn’t as big as hers, otherwise it’s going to be a rough delivery.
2. Geico has pulled advertising from Fox News Glenn Beck show after he referred to Obama as a racist. They released a statement that the cavemen were deeply offended by the comments but were coping by playing tennis with the Gecko in the Hamptons.
1. Obama was seen biking on Martha’s Vineyard not wearing a helmet. That guy is a real rebel-rouser: a beer drinking, smoking, no helmet wearing, bad-ass. Be sure to tell your children not to grow up like him.
(Hey, she has to vent somewhere.)
The NYC Insiders Guide
for women who aren't kids
PTA Mom is the mother of three young kids age 6 and under who somehow either start out in the bed or end up there at some point during the night. She has a demanding job trying to make stuff up all day, coaches’ softball and cheerleading teams--which is like herding cats, a husband who at all times would rather be golfing and has a nanny with a tramp stamp. She loves red wine, Ciroc vodka and has gotten pretty good at the BBQ. Do not ask her to ever do the laundry as she doesn’t separate whites from darks and thinks Mr. Clean is really one of those hot bald guys. Come visit on a Friday during the summer and you are bound to hear some bad Karaoke. Just don’t ask her to remove the bag or you’d see her forked tongue.
She chooses to remain anonymous. Do you blame her?