(Hey, she has to vent somewhere.)
The NYC Insiders Guide
for women who aren't kids
PTA Mom is the mother of three young kids age 6 and under who somehow either start out in the bed or end up there at some point during the night. She has a demanding job trying to make stuff up all day, coaches’ softball and cheerleading teams--which is like herding cats, a husband who at all times would rather be golfing and has a nanny with a tramp stamp. She loves red wine, Ciroc vodka and has gotten pretty good at the BBQ. Do not ask her to ever do the laundry as she doesn’t separate whites from darks and thinks Mr. Clean is really one of those hot bald guys. Come visit on a Friday during the summer and you are bound to hear some bad Karaoke. Just don’t ask her to remove the bag or you’d see her forked tongue.
She chooses to remain anonymous. Do you blame her?
10. In the spirit of bonding, Obama and his guest, police Sergeant James Crowley and Harvard University professor Henry Louis Gates all learned how to tap a keg and play beer pong. It was all fun and games until Hillary Clinton showed up dressed as the St. Pauli girl.
9. The mayors of Hoboken, Ridgefield and Secaucus were arrested in a New Jersey scandal involving black-market kidneys, money laundering and fake Gucci. Maybe New Jersey will smell better now that some of the trash has been taken out.
8. The Snuggie for dogs is now available. So now your dog can look like an idiot too.
7. Very unflattering picture of Madonna surfaced where her arms look like the dude in the BODIES exhibit.
6. Jon Gosselin and Michael Lohan were hanging out in the Hamptons together. Does Jon want to get bitch slapped again by Kate during the custody hearings? Michael as his advisor--now that’s a good role model.
5. Sarah Palin is going to be catching up on her missed newspaper reading now that she has resigned.
4. Botox users might get hit with a new cosmetic tax, although it’s hard to tell if they’re upset since their face doesn’t move.
3. Guess God has really been hit hard with the recession when a bunch of Rabbis are arrested for trafficking organs. Of course they were the organs of disgraced Catholic priests, so it’s not really so bad.
2. Debbie Rowe has spoken positively of the visitation arrangement she has reached with Katherine Jackson over the custody of her two children with Michael Jackson. She says she’s not looking for a cash cow, and I believe her. After all, she is a cow so she would know one.
1. Michelle Obama organic veggie garden is contaminated with sludge. They say it’s leftover from when Bill and Hill fertilized the lawn years ago. Wow, Bill really was spilling his giz everywhere. Guess the girls won’t be having any of those veggies.