(Hey, she has to vent somewhere.)
The NYC Insiders Guide
for women who aren't kids
PTA Mom is the mother of three young kids age 6 and under who somehow either start out in the bed or end up there at some point during the night. She has a demanding job trying to make stuff up all day, coaches’ softball and cheerleading teams--which is like herding cats, a husband who at all times would rather be golfing and has a nanny with a tramp stamp. She loves red wine, Ciroc vodka and has gotten pretty good at the BBQ. Do not ask her to ever do the laundry as she doesn’t separate whites from darks and thinks Mr. Clean is really one of those hot bald guys. Come visit on a Friday during the summer and you are bound to hear some bad Karaoke. Just don’t ask her to remove the bag or you’d see her forked tongue.
She chooses to remain anonymous. Do you blame her?
10. Not such a bad economy for some: McDonalds profits up, Gym memberships up. Must be all those people working off those Big Macs.
9. Sen. John Ensign’s (of Nevada) extramarital affair intensified when it emerged that his parents gave his former lover $96,000. Now that's an expensive lay in a state where prostitution is legal.
8. Al Franken finally sworn in as Senator in Minnesota. The Republican Party sent the Democrat $96,000 to cover lawsuit costs, a party spokesman confirmed. Wait a minute…is he John Ensign’s lover?
7. Steve McNair , ex-NFL QB, had just finished filming a PSA on suicide prevention a few days before he was killed. Guess his girlfriend didn’t see it. Tough week for infidels.
6. Sara Palin has got her sites on bigger things-heard she may be getting a TV show. Todd & Sara plus 4 just doesn't have the same ring to it.
5. All the Dunkin Donuts in Penn Station will be replaced with Tim Hortons, a Canadian chain. Horton hears a WHO???
4. Has enough time passed yet? All Michael Jackson dates have been cancelled - that includes Bobby aged 9 and Ryan aged 5.... (LOL from web)
3. Maybe Obama was just thinking about his stimulus package when he copped a stared at a young ladys’ backside at the G-8 summit.
2. Oscar Mayer Wiener died- oh wait, Wiener isn’t last name! I can’t say his name without adding wiener, can you? Anyway, don’t worry; his body will still be around for a while because of all the preservatives.
1. Ruth Madoff has to return her $45,000 fur coat. She was caught trying to walk it out of her apartment on a leash saying, “heal boy, heal.”