PTA Mom
(Hey, she has to vent somewhere.)
The NYC Insiders Guide
for women who aren't kids
PTA Mom is the mother of three young kids age 6 and under who somehow either start out in the bed or end up there at some point during the night. She has a demanding job trying to make stuff up all day, coaches’ softball and cheerleading teams--which is like herding cats, a husband who at all times would rather be golfing and has a nanny with a tramp stamp. She loves red wine, Ciroc vodka and has gotten pretty good at the BBQ. Do not ask her to ever do the laundry as she doesn’t separate whites from darks and thinks Mr. Clean is really one of those hot bald guys. Come visit on a Friday during the summer and you are bound to hear some bad Karaoke. Just don’t ask her to remove the bag or you’d see her forked tongue.
She chooses to remain anonymous. Do you blame her?

Tomato Vines- What’s Sprouting
My top 10 news picks this week
10. Sara Palin pulled out of the white house corespondents dinner at the last moment. Maybe she should have given that advice to her daughter Bristol.
9. Wanda Sykes at correspondent’s dinner to Obama: "The 1st black president. That's unless you screw up—then it’s what's up w/ the half white guy, huh?"
8. If Michael Phelps’ sperm swims as well as he does, those strippers he had the tryst with better look out or they'll be the new OctoMoms.
7.News just said the recession is over. I must call my bank account and inform it of the good news. Fly, be free.
6. You’re hired! Miss California keeps her crown. The Donald says racy pics OK, because racy mandatory bikini walk is OK.
5. Obama will not get awarded honorary degree from Arizona State due to lack of experience. Guess he didn't take keg tapping.
4. As part of Idol gives back, a Rwandan boy learned English a week ago to sing a song on Idol. He already speaks better English than Paula.
3. 1800- MATTRESS mama found dead at bottom of staircase in home. Cops called in 1800-STEEMER to clean up.
2. House Speaker Nancy Pelosi says she was mislead on waterboarding. What did she think it is…a new form of surfing?
1. Al Gore said to former fellow VP Dick Cheney that it is too soon for him to jump back into the political fray. “I waited two years,” Gore said. Of course, in that time, he also invented the internet.



