(Hey, she has to vent somewhere.)
The NYC Insiders Guide
for women who aren't kids
PTA Mom is the mother of three young kids age 6 and under who somehow either start out in the bed or end up there at some point during the night. She has a demanding job trying to make stuff up all day, coaches’ softball and cheerleading teams--which is like herding cats, a husband who at all times would rather be golfing and has a nanny with a tramp stamp. She loves red wine, Ciroc vodka and has gotten pretty good at the BBQ. Do not ask her to ever do the laundry as she doesn’t separate whites from darks and thinks Mr. Clean is really one of those hot bald guys. Come visit on a Friday during the summer and you are bound to hear some bad Karaoke. Just don’t ask her to remove the bag or you’d see her forked tongue.
She chooses to remain anonymous. Do you blame her?
Tomato Vines- What’s Sprouting
My top 10 news picks this week
10. Man that Hugh Jackman has pull. Wolverine is the #1 movie at the box and now people are running out to buy the Wolverine gloves to replace their old Ginsu knives.
9. What do you get when you combine Oprah Winfrey and an offer of a free meal at KFC? Kirstie Alley asking how she can get her rain check.
8. ‘Jon & Kate Plus 8’ star Kate Gosselin on her husband’s infidelity allegations: “We’re handling this privately.” Until, of course, the May 25th premier of the show on TLC when Kate will get to punish him in front of millions of people.
7. Guantanamo Bay inmates soon to be released to D.C. suburbs. Condoleezza Rice tells 4th graders that part of their punishment will include daily dusting of the statue of Marion Barry’s nose at Madame Tussaud’s Wax Museum.
6. Kiefer Sutherland was charged with misdemeanor assault for allegedly head-butting a fashion designer at a Manhattan nightclub. Christian Bale wrote him a letter thanking him for being a bigger ass than he is.
5. Finding Dr. Fukuda's name from the World Health Organization (WHO) very funny. Fukuda. I can say it all day--Fukuda, Fukuda, Fukuda.
4. GM loses $6 Billion. Resorts to infomercial to raise funds. “Hi, Billy Mays here!”
3. Stephen Colbert: “President Obama’s approval rating is at 67%. Where I come from that’s a D+.”
2. Kirstie Alley says she wants the well toned arms of Michelle Obama. What, to eat?
1. Was excused from jury duty this week. I guess showing up at court w/ bag over my head disqualified me from being "a jury of your peers."