Why do women over 50 lose their sex drive?
Q. Why do a large percentage of women over 50 lose their sex drive? It is not just my wife, but many others that I know about who have husbands of their own. As hard as we try to satisfy them either with oral sex or straight, the results are the same. If it was just happening to me, I would blame myself.
A. There are also many women over 50 who start having the best sex of their lives. Their children are grown up and out of the house so that they have complete privacy. They don’t have to worry about getting pregnant. And they know their bodies better so are better equipped to have orgasms. I know that as a woman ages she undergoes hormonal changes, but there seems to be no scientific proof that menopause causes a woman to lose her sex drive. So if your wife is having problems, along with these other wives, the likelihood is that the problem is psychological. Perhaps your relationship isn’t as good as it used to be. Maybe you don’t spend enough time being romantic when you’re not having sex. If her body has undergone physical changes, then she might be feeling vulnerable and need extra attention from you. There could be lots of reasons why a woman over 50 isn’t as responsive to sex as she used to be, but it’s as likely, or more than likely, that her partner is a bigger part of the problem than her age.
About Dr. Ruth
Dr. Ruth Westheimer is a psychosexual therapist who helped to pioneer the field of media psychology with her radio program, Sexually Speaking. It began in September of 1980 as a fifteen minute, taped show that aired Sundays after midnight on WYNY-FM (NBC) in New York. One year later it became a live, one-hour show airing at 10 PM on which Dr. Ruth, as she became known, answered call-in questions from listeners. Soon it became part of a communications network to distribute Dr. Westheimer's expertise which has included television, books, newspapers, games, home video, computer software and her own website, www.drruth.com.
Born in Germany in 1928, Dr. Westheimer was sent to a children's home in Switzerland at the age of ten which became an orphanage for most of the German Jewish students who had been sent there to escape the Holocaust. At 17 she went to Israel where she fought for that country's independence as a member of the Haganah, the Jewish freedom fighters. She then moved to Paris where she studied at the Sorbonne and taught kindergarten. She immigrated to the U.S. in 1956 where she obtained her Masters Degree in Sociology from the Graduate Faculty of the New School of Social Research. In 1970, she received a Doctorate of Education (Ed.D.) in the Interdisciplinary Study of the Family from Columbia University Teacher's College.
She worked for Planned Parenthood for a time and it was that experience that prompted her to further her education in human sexuality by studying under Dr. Helen Singer Kaplan at New York Hospital-Cornell University Medical Center. She later participated in the program for five years as an Adjunct Associate Professor. She has also taught at Lehman College, Brooklyn College, Adelphi University, Columbia University and West Point.
Currently Dr. Westheimer is an Adjunct Professor at N.Y.U. and an Associate Fellow of Calhoun College at Yale University, where she teaches a course on the Jewish family, and a Fellow of Butler College at Princeton University, where she teaches a similar course. She is a fellow of the New York Academy of Medicine and in addition to having her own private practice, she frequently lectures at universities across the country and has twice been named "College Lecturer of the Year."
Do you have a question about sex, love, or romance? Dr. Ruth's got the answers.
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